Mooching around the Internet (yeah, I do a lot of that), I happened across some pseudo-ALT satirical hipster news site called HipsterRunoff, with a news feature dubbed the “ALT Report“. (Fuck, that was a mouthful of banter)
Cue scrolling, *click*, *click*, heightened interest, Lana Del Rey, yeah, yadda yadda, LCD Soundsystem, yeeeah, okay, then BAM:
Urban Outfitters stock is in ‘the shitter’, CEO resigns. Are alt retailers dying?
I’m almost ashamed to say my heart dropped. I absolutely love Urbies. Not that I can particularly afford to purchase much from the place, given that you clearly must have to develop a clothing-related eating disorder and purge all your spends on their threads to shop there, but whenever flush, it’s my first port o’call. It would be a major blow to my mental wardrobe if Kimchi & Blue and Pins & Needles disappeared so I really hope this doesn’t escalate over time. Admittedly, I do browse the store and raise an eyebrow at the sheer extortion of some items, with clothes that look like hyped-up Primark cut-offs with a fancy label being sold for like, 5 times the price.
I got a couple of comments on here and on Reddit regarding using HRO as a reputable source, which I know was silly, but given the facts themselves are actually true – I thought people would be able to, y’know, figure it out by their own discretion… If you still think I’m being an utter derp – check out the actual story.
But yeah, all you fortunate souls, get your ass down to the stores, or get clicking online and show a little love for UO. Here’s to many more years of alty awesomeness…
My current favourite picks:
- Vintage Renewal Pinwell Cord Shirt
- Minkpink Tail ‘Em Up Long Shirt
- Pins and Needles Contrast Playsuit
- Sparkle and Fade Drape Front Maxi Skirt
- Vintage Renewal Leather Circle Skirt
- Bitching & Junkfood Spike Cross Denim Shorts
Here’s a perfect example of their stupid stuff though – I have a pretty much identical version of this shirt that I got from a charity shop a few years ago for literally like, £2… This is £38… Uh:
Haha, have you ever actually read HRO? It’s ridiculous satire and speculation…Definitely not a ‘real’ news source.
I know, I’m completely aware – the basic facts are true though. The CEO did resign and there was a 17% drop in shares. Still isn’t great!