asos posts

How To Not Cry When You’re Sober On Bank Holiday Weekend

April 20, 2019

Today I’m 25 days sober. Today I tackled the Great British Beer Garden without drinking alcohol, on a Bank Holiday, for the first time in my adult life. Not going to lie: it was fucking shite. But I did it. And, given I’m usually nursing a surgically-attached straw of gin & tonic down my throat at this hour of a Bank Holiday Saturday; not writing blog posts, I suppose that’s pretty good going.

If you too are afflicted with the ‘alcohol basically ruins my life’ disorder, this post is written in both solidarity and the hopes of helping inspire others to take the sober route, if they think it’s something they ought to do.

But how, you ask? How in the sweet mother of Christ does one avoid the sweet nectar of beer when the sun is shining out of its proverbial arse and I swear to god the birds are tweeting “go ‘ed mate, get that vino down you”?

I don’t have all the answers – believe me, I’ve just sat with a face like a slapped arse in aforementioned beer terrace (see above) and had a slightly teary meltdown upon returning home – but these are the things that have helped me stay on the straight and narrow. And they’ll hopefully be of some help to you too.

Avoid Places Where People Are Solely Drinking

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Putting this one in here mainly as a reminder to myself… Most of the time since going sober, I’ve managed to avoid pubs, bars and clubs like the plague but, when the sun comes out, so must the guns and the inevitable beer garden visits.

If you have to go to somewhere where a) the bulk of the clientele will be drinking b) people you’re going with will be drinking, my best advice is to make sure they do some guise of non-alcoholic cocktail, beer or spritzer, to stop you feeling like a complete alien.

Luckily, the lovely people at YES in Manchester do bespoke virgin cocktails, so I had the pictured lemon, lime and grapefruit concoction whilst my partner had a normal one (he usually doesn’t drink around me – major kudos – but I’m not a complete dragon).

Remember WHY You’re Doing This

After having a little moment of feeling sorry for myself on the sofa when we got home, I started reflecting on why I enlisted myself on this wholesome (pain in the arse) journey in the first place. It’s nearly 8pm now – I’d wager that Past Ebony would be just about to fall into the ‘oh god, it’s hometime bitch’ category of drunk at this point – inevitably becoming a nightmare and/or blacking out/causing a huge argument/wasting all her money/causing general havoc.

Past Ebony was sad, a lot. Today I feel pretty sad – I’m not going to lie – it does feel like I’m mourning a part of myself. Because the initially drunk stages of Ebony are fun; I like her. But I don’t know how to just be her and then kick the cup, so to speak.

Think Outside The Box

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This has been my favourite element of going sober, by far. My life used to be coloured pretty much exclusively by alcohol – sitting in bars, sitting on the sofa, throwing terrible shapes in clubs – just booze, booze and let’s be honest: boring booze.

Since going sober, I’ve tried: golfing at a driving range (big fan, v good for a mardy mood), joining a book club (with girls who drink at the meet-ups, but I have mocktails), a poetry workshop at HOMEmcr, an afternoon at the fair then dicking about the park with a frisbee, and some incredibly amateur modelling. Tomorrow, we’re going outdoor swimming, Monday we’re going for a walk with alpacas.

What I’m saying is – don’t focus on what you can’t do – make your life so interesting that you only focus on what you can do. And hey, you’ll have way better anecdotes than hazy recollections of being a wasteman (I’ve already got a lifetime of these).

Work Out How Much You’re Saving

If you’re anything like me, you spent a hefty wedge when you were drinking. Not just the purchase of alcohol itself, but the whole ritual of it: the drinks, the cigarettes, the taxis, the hangover takeaways – that shit adds up. The last time I had a Big Night of Drinking, I spent around £70 – which is basically a very nice dress and this upsets me quite a lot.

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Happy Bank Holiday, guys – here’s to waking up each day not feeling like we’ve been hit by a train, or wondering what the bejeezus we did the night before…

If you’re also sober, or looking to cut out the bevs, feel free to follow my journey and drop me a line on Twitter @Ebzo.

OUTFIT
Dress – H&M
Belt – ASOS
Bag – Kiomi (ordered from Zalando)
Sunglasses – Sue Ryder
Necklace – Barnardos

Coming Up: Leeds RAG Fashion Show 2014

February 27, 2014

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Again, I must begin with the obligatory (and unfortunately too frequent) apologies for my absence this month: third year is really starting to take its toll on me. I’ve taken to hiding under my desk, Creme Egg hoarding and other such worrying symptoms of third-year lunacy lately. The prospect of it all being over in three months is as terrifying as it is a relief – it’s just a case of trying to keep it all together now! Can I have a life coach, please?

Anyway, on a brighter, more exciting note: I’m taking a wander over to Leeds tomorrow for the Leeds Rag Fashion Show, which is in aid of SARSVL (Support After Rape & Sexual Violence Leeds) and SUDEP Action. The committee have done an incredible job at drawing in amazing designers and companies to get on board, including Masato Jones, ASOS and American Apparel. In fact, they recently did a rather snazzy photoshoot for American Apparel – check this beaut out (click the image to see the others!):

With Block A tickets still available on the site, you’d be quite the unfashionable scrooge if you didn’t come down and help out this amazing cause – you’ll find me in VIP – cocktail in one hand, Instagram-snapping on the other…

ASOS Sale Buys.

January 10, 2014

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Well, well, well, ain’t it funny how the frequency of my posting increases exponentially when I have something I actually have to get done to a deadline? Not content with my sale picks at ZARA, I got tempted into the above beauties: primarily because I got sent a 20% off code for Christmas for being part of AccessAllASOS (thanks guys!). Now, you’ll know if you’re an avid reader, that I’ve actually wanted the Alexa Chung x Eyeko set for a while – it was part of my December Wishlist so I’m ridiculously excited to try this out. Is it me or, given that it’s an Alexa Chung related product, is there a weird lack of hype around this set? I’m hoping that isn’t anything to do with the quality, but I’ll be sure to post a review pretty much as soon as it arrives, anyway. I also featured the killer boots in my ASOS sale picks last week.

Now, if you’re aware of the fact that I’m currently trying to adopt the vegan lifestyle (to an extent), you’ll be quite perturbed to find two leather items in my picks. I’m not going to lie and feign total philanthropy: I’m only eating vegan, I’m not adopting it into every aspect of my life. Though I’ll never wear fur. I had to pick up these pieces – the quality for the price is just amazing and I saved so much money with the combination of the sale and my discount code:

ASOS Leather Pinafore Dress – £60 was £120

ASOS PREMIUM AFFLICTION Leather Ankle Boots – £34 was £85

Alexa for Eyeko Limited Edition ‘Eye Do’ Set – £35

When you factored in the 20% off, the basket only came to £103 – that’s a saving of nearly £140!

Have you bought anything from the ASOS sales?

 

ASOS 75% Off Sale Picks.

January 2, 2014

Despite my bank balance currently screaming over-overdrawn at me, I couldn’t help myself from having at least a masochistic peek at the up-to-75% off sale running at ASOS at the moment – and now I want to cry. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could cry pennies? Painful, but $$$$. However, I decided to live vicariously through you guys and give you a quick rundown of some of the delightful pieces they have to offer at the moment. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just be here – in my dressing gown, crying into my camomile tea. Currently on Day 2 of ‘Veganuary’ and not smoking, going strong and looking forward to trying out the Vegan options at Tampopo later at the Trafford Centre. Going to get my consumer fix by trading in 5 empty Lush pots for a facemask, mwahaha. Anyway, back to the subject – here are my sale picks:

  • Daisy Street Crop Top with Polo Neck – Was £9.99, now £6.50

Unsure whether my infatuation with this style of shirt lies with the product itself, or my burgeoning jealousy for that model’s torso – can I buy that, too? Either way, I love how this shirt manages to flip off the prudish stigma behind polo/turtle necks (three words: Velma – Scooby Doo) with its cheeky midriff cut. Easy to style, I’ll have it in both red and black please.

  • ASOS Skater Dress in Check – Was £42, now £21

Cannot get my head around the juxtaposition of preppy and grunge with this one, but I think that’s the appeal. Team with a chunky waist-cincher belt, black platform boots and a black fedora. And a coat: just because Father Christmas has been and New Year has gone, doesn’t mean you should opt for Pneumoniary (that’s pneumonia + January… worked out better in my head).

  • ASOS Pencil Skirt with Bold Braces – Was £40, now £24

You can be the bawzzz with this form-fitting bold pencil skirt. Perfect piece for an office-to-evening switch: just wear with a dress shirt during the day, sneakily strip off in the loos and replace with a graphic shirt – preferably with something alluding to how fabulaaarse you are (don’t – those shirts make you look like a bit of a nob).

  • ASOS PREMIUM Affliction Leather Ankle Boots – Was £85, now £42.50 

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Hamlet asked: “To be or not to be?”, Ebony asked: “Why the sweet mother of fudge aren’t these boots on my feet?”. Arguably somewhat less of a pressing matter – I think shoe lust is trumped by suicide contemplation, but I’m still not convinced… I would team these with: everything. Forever and ever Amen.

Products linked via product images.

Self-Indulgent and Inescapable: The Christmas Haul.

December 29, 2013

I call it a haul, but I suppose it’s more of a communal gift dump, bestowed upon me by my loving family and friends. This year, I focused rather stringently on asking for vain and aesthetic presents: dresses/dresses/dresses/MAC-anything – and it worked out quite well. I received some gorgeous bits and bobs, here are a few pieces (I won’t be that wazzock that lists them all, lest you think I’m bragging – and put it this way, I’m still yet to get a Mulberry. Hand me the violin):

  • Forever 21 – Daring Cutout Bodycon Dress – £16.75

Arguably the sluttiest piece I have in my entire wardrobe – perhaps even surpassing my Ann Summers drawer – this dress is a corker, and I’m highly surprised my dad agreed to buy it for me (cheers dad). Definitely one only ever to be sported with black tights and nothing less, I have gone to wear this for a meal/casino night out recently and changed last minute, due to my nipples repping nothing short of the ‘telescopic Bowie antennae’ look. Maybe I’ll wear this one when the chill wears off a little…

  • Forever 21 – Enchanted Velveteen Maxi Skirt – £12.75

Check out those thigh splits – Angelina Jolie, eat yer heart out, love. I’ve been on a bit of a goth stint recently (by recently, rather circa 1993), and velvet is right up my back alley, especially when it’s floaty and mental and quite fun to team with killer boots. I’ve been wearing this with a Forever 21 black lace sweater, but I’m looking forward to returning to my flat and sporting it with one of my cropped t-shirts. Wearing around Leigh town centre has garnered a fair share of scathing chav glares.

  • Empty Casket – Amethyst Pentagram Cord Necklace – £16.00 

I’m guessing you’ve caught on to the goth influences by now, no? This is such a nifty piece: the frame opens out like a pendant, allowing you to wear it without the amethyst if it clashes with an outfit, or switch with other stones if you wish to collect them. The only thing I’d like to change about it is that it’s a bit too long: I wanted a choker style, given I’ve managed to break my last two. I’m wearing it on the Forever 21 dress picture above anyway, if you’re interested. This gem is currently sold out, but there are other styles – and other drool-worthy pieces – available on the site.

  • Lush Cosmetics – My Fair Lady Gift Set – £31.95 

My connection with this gift set thus far, is verging on the mildly psychotic. I found myself cuddling the ‘Miranda’ soap for quite the inordinate space of time earlier, hugging it to my nose like you’d do with a newly-bought puppy (if you liked dogs, that is). Basically, it all smells damn grand. Out of all the products included, I’ve only ever tried the Charity Pot before, which is luscious – determined to keep exfoliating/moisturising every single day now (we can only live in hope). The Tiny Hands solid hand cream bar might be a favourite so far, I’m going to have none left if I don’t stop smooshing it – the consistency is so invitingly butter-melty and luxurious. Elizabeth Arden, your hand cream reign is over: it smells exponentially better than you.

I could yanner on all day and bore you all to tears – there were other bits and pieces like: an ASOS PVC dress that I’ve been lusting over for months, some more Gucci Guilty perfume, the MAC Prep + Prime powder I mentioned in this month’s wishlist, the 3 year tradition of a new Simon’s Cat calendar, a new set of crossword books… urrr, yeah, and many fat-inducing chocolaty things and some new trusty owl slippers. Anyone else get anything similar?

As always, products linked through images. 

WISHLIST: June

June 12, 2013

1. Dahlia Ava Tassel Hem Dress with Lace Detail – £68How quirky is this dress? I have the perfect fedora and platform boots for it. It would also go beautifully with #4 – the RegalRose ring. 

2. ASOS shirt – £18 | I’ve been traipsing around the high street looking for a really simple plain white shirt to wear with the plethora of collar pins/statement necklaces I’ve been coveting recently. Thanks to Clara from CountessDuBlush for this find!

3. Boohoo Annie Oversized Vintage Jumper – £15 | I’d like this in coral and jade, please and thank you. The coral is on trend with the current pastel madness and is one of the very few colours that actually makes my pale skin look semi radiant, or at least alive.

4. RegalRose Zuri Turquoise Knuckle Ring – £17 | Massive fan of this brands stuff, not a particular fan of their price tags though. After losing my first midi ring last week, I’m scared to buy this. But I must. I must. Big on the stacking/OTT rings trend at the moment.

5. Company Magazine Fashion Forum Ticket – £25 | Plus travelling, plus food – argh. If I get a job within the next couple of days and secure some proper income, I am so very there. I’m also looking for someone to car pool with – I don’t have a car myself, but I did this with some bloggers to London Fashion Week last year and it worked really well and was cost-effective! Let me know if you fancy it!

6. Urban Outfitters Casio Pink Mini Digital Watch – £20 | The black Casio watch in a similar design has had me hovering over the ‘buy’ button for years, but this pink one might just have me sold. I’ve seen one in a mint green at Button & Bow however, that I might nab instead!

7. Boohoo Arwen Extreme Suedette Flatform Wedge – £25 | Why do I have to have pathetically small size-3 feet, which are always the first size to sell out? I want these and I want them badly. They’re the perfect ‘ALT’ernative to sandals if you’re a bit too gothy for them, like me. I’m on these as soon as they’re back in.

What’re you drooling over this month?

Tweet me @Ebzo

NEWS: Primark Comes To ASOS.

June 12, 2013

And after finally checking out the hype – YES, I’m bloody happy about it. I saw the endless tweets last week, which caused a stir about the bizarre news that Primark was to finally be available online through everyone’s favourite online shopping portal: ASOS – but I was not convinced. The first thing I posted went along the lines of ‘OH shit, let me guess: the prices are horribly inflamed and have rendered Primark/ASOS into something completely alien to Primark, which is marketed heavily on its affordability’, so I didn’t bother having a look. And then I got tonsillitis. Probably karma for being a presumptuous cynic, but there you go – until recently, I hadn’t checked the line out. But hot damn, hats off to you guys: it’s impressive, and most importantly, quintessentially Primark-priced.

The main trends that I’ve noticed are sport/varsity, denim and florals (oh, and an odd array of random onesies – bit weird for summer), which all seem to be aimed at a younger buyer: I could quite easily see the entire range on the post-sixteen-year olds wreaking havoc on Leeds/Reading Festival, which’d be a nice change from the bum-revealing shorts that we ended up dubbing ‘womb-lining shorts’ by the end of the weekend last year, due to their lack of leaving much to the imagination. Anyway, the line is definitely young, flirty and really quite damn cool. Here are some pieces that I’ll be hoping to snap up:

1.Polka Dot Cut Out Denim Shirt Dress – £15 | 2. High Neck Cold Shoulder Crop Top – £6 | 3. Floral Print Prom Dress – £17

What do you think of the new collection?

Follow me on Twitter @Ebzo

Order from ELNfashion.com.

May 30, 2013

etsy

Follow me on Twitter @Ebzo for updates!

WISHLIST: May.

May 17, 2013

Haven’t done one of these in a damn good while – September 2012 to be exact, oops. Anyway, I’m on a worrying buying spree lately and have been eyeing things up to buy and write about on here, so here’s a quick run down of the items I’m hoping to snap up this month:

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Passion For Fashion – Moneysupermarket.com Competition Entry Part 5.

September 24, 2012

It’s been a long time going with this posts, but here’s the last addition to my entry – if you’ve lost the plot of what’s going on, I’m entering the Moneysupermarket.com Passion For Fashion competition, which is explained in full in the first part. The final look that I will be pulling together is Office, which should be pretty easy for me – since I have a tendency to wear shirts for no decent reason. Enjoy!

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Ebony. 25. Manchester.
Marketing Manager who likes to mouth off on here about stuff she cares about. Expect mental health, Borderline Personality Disorder, and reviews - from restaurants, to books, to fashion. Talks to cats more than people, but seemingly has a lot to say.
ebonylaurenn@gmail.com