hogmanay posts

A New Spin on New Year’s Resolutions.

December 29, 2013

Every single year we torture ourselves with endless lists of things we find particularly shitty about ourselves, that we find need to be changed. ‘I’m too fat’ – New Year’s Resolution to lose 15lbs/join a gym/eat less awesome things. ‘I don’t try hard enough’ – New Year’s Resolution to strive more, and then beat the mental living crap out of yourself when it transpires that you can’t always give 100% because, hey: you’re only human. My point is, every damn year we turn New Year into this self-deprecating spiral, subjecting ourselves to inescapable impending self-hatred – of our own making! So, this year – given I’m usually renowned for being a negative nancy (my boyfriend was disgusted that out of 13 Snapchats he received on Christmas morning, 12 were of happy smiling friends saying ‘Happy Christmas’, then there was one off me with a santa hat over my face with ‘My eyes are bleeding’ – you get my drift) – I’d opt for a happier tone this year.

And how better to achieve this, than for us all to rally together, and each create a post in which we celebrate the things we actually do like about ourselves, instead of focusing on the stuff we hate? If you want to be part of this tag, write a blog post listing 5 – 10 things you love about yourself and link it on here, or to me on my Twitter (@Ebzo) for me to promote. It would be so amazing if, by New Year, we could have a collection of these to look through – great for those days when you forget just how un-shit you actually are. Who’s with me?

Here’s 10 things that I don’t think are completely bloody awful about myself:

  1. My eyeliner skills are nearly unparalleled. Come rain, come tears, come shine – I will be religiously sporting slick cats eyes wherever I am. I even do it for 9am seminars… Come on, where’s the medal?
  2. For a weedy white girl, I am a pretty big fan of my bum – it’s dayumn perky.
  3. I am extraordinarily talented at writing absolute bullshit – perks of being a copywriter. I can write about anything: semen-increasing drugs, car wheels, Miley Cyrus – you name it, I’m your girl.
  4. I am also reasonably talented at writing stuff that isn’t absolute bullshit – and I’m really quite proud of myself for maintaining my own persona and voice in everything I write. Allll the love to other bloggers who do this, too.
  5. Despite having dodgy eyebags and chubby cheeks, I can use this to my advantage to scare off creepers: I can lift my cheekbones up to make my irises disappear. This probably isn’t a perk, but it makes for a damn good Snapchat…
  6. I might be part cat – my meows have been mistaken for their real counterparts on many an occasion. Again, we’re verging away from perks to the plain weird, now…
  7. My lips are boss. Getting used to having two fat orange segments for lips has taken some time, but I’m finally embracing their awesome factor. They don’t call me BJ-lips for nothing… urrr.
  8. I might be a walking synthesizer: my sister and I can emulate men when we sing – it’s quite impressive. I can also sing like a normal person, but I think that’s cooler.
  9.  Back to the cats – I can 9 times out of 10 tell you exactly what breed any cat is that you place in front of me. This is due to a very severe chronic onset of cat-obsession that began to bloom when I was around 9 years old. Apparently I’ll never recover.
  10. My feet are cute. Feet are often long stubs of ming, but mine are teensy tiny size 3s and therefore, reasonably cute – so I’ve been told. However, they’re a little bitch for wearing heels – carrying my bodyweight on such a pathetic surface area is torture.

So there you have it – that’s my list. I’ve heard from a few bloggers on Twitter who are going to get involved, let’s try and make this big. Down with the resolutions, hear hear to celebrating who we actually are!

We’re Getting Missguided This New Year.

December 29, 2013

This year I am determined to do something semi-awesome for New Years. Last year, I saw in the new year whilst panned out in bed with my best friend, eating noodles and watching a shit film – it was nice, but quite so lame that we didn’t even realise that it’d turned midnight for a good ten minutes – oops. However, after deliberating through trips to Edinburgh for Hogmanay, or crashing some hip’n’happenin’ jive in London – it’s probably going to be a night ’round Leigh town, or Manchester at best. Either way, there’s no excuse for not looking your best, even if you are dribbling noodles down your chin watching Gossip Girl – here are my favourite Missguided New Years picks – currently with 30% off! (Enter ‘NYE2014’ at checkout)

  • Loba Velvet Open Back Playsuit – £24.99 – with 30% off: £17.50

If you want to look slick, sophisticated, and like you’re about to develop the onset of pneumonia: this playsuit is for you. If you don’t want the latter: wear a coat and some thick black tights, please. If you caught my Christmas Haul post, you’ll know I’m a big fan of velvet right now and this piece is definitely no exception. Team with a deep plum lipstick and cat eye flicks – oh, and a kimono, if you’re feeling floaty.

  • Kitia Silky Keyhole Maxi Dress – £29.99 – with 30% off: £21

Tit tape at the ready, ladies – we’re in for a bumpy ride. Hot damn though, this dress is worth the fuss: silky jewel green with a cheeky keyhole cut? Count me in. Probably better for a night on the swanky tiles, than perhaps wandering the streets of Wigan town centre – if you’re heading out further afield, or to an indoor party, this one’s for you. Not sure I’d be able to brave a family party without a bra wearing this number, though… Your call.

  • Inuno Sequin Playsuit – £39.99 – with 30% off: £28

Remember what I was saying about pneumonia? Urr yeah, here’s another – but it’s so pretty! However, you definitely want to be wearing this piece at an indoor party – I can’t imagine the perils of being trapped in the thronging crowds at the Edinburgh street party, freezing cold, in a playsuit… Imagine how difficult it’ll be to go to the loo in. Definitely, definitely wear this one at an indoor event – preferably one with lots of strobe lights: those sequins deserve it.

I hope you all have a brilliant time, and I hope I end up doing too! Here’s an extra treat: free next day UK delivery when you enter ‘NYFREE’. Have fun, guys.


Ebony. 25. Manchester.
Marketing Manager who likes to mouth off on here about stuff she cares about. Expect mental health, Borderline Personality Disorder, and reviews - from restaurants, to books, to fashion. Talks to cats more than people, but seemingly has a lot to say.
ebonylaurenn@gmail.com