satire posts

Miley Cyrus Bares All (Again) For W Magazine

February 7, 2014

miley-cyrus

Pretty sure I’ve seen more of Miley Cyrus’ skin than I have my own, of late. The infamous pop sensation just can’t seem to keep enough of her clothes on – despite having a bank balance that would easily dress half of Europe in Chanel. As something of a self-proclaimed Miley-cynic, I usually can’t help myself from writing scathing pieces about her latest faux-pas but today, I’ve hit a crisis: I may actually like these images.

For once, Cyrus’ new look is almost, dare I say it: tasteful. Instead of tacky barely-there Santa girl costumes, or hideously niptastic fishnet monstrosities, this shoot is stripped back in all the right ways. Yes, she may be completely starkers but this time, she’s looking more Donatella Versace than dirt cheap, right? And even better, there’s not a hint of Robin Thicke in sight.

Of course, the subtlety of her sexuality on the cover doesn’t last long, as the inner spread reveals shots of her getting back into that aforementioned ‘niptastic’ mode. However, even though I’m caught face-to-face (or should I say nip-to-face) with her ‘bangerz’, I don’t want to start pelting things at my laptop screen in disgust this time. Maybe it’s because her tongue is well and truly at bay, or maybe it’s because of the artsy monochrome effects – maybe it’s simply because those bleached brows slightly disguise the fact that she’s actually Miley Cyrus. I just can’t hate it.

If this was some foresight into a new era of Miley, I may actually end up hanging up my bitch crown and becoming – perish the thought… a fan. Admittedly, amidst jealousy and judgement, it’s sometimes too easy to forget that Miley is just a young 20-something, just like me. Saying which: you wouldn’t find me licking sledgehammers on your average Friday night. I guess all I’m trying to say is: keep doing what you’re doing, girl – we’ve all seen enough of your nether regions by now.

Over to you guys: are you a fan of this side of Miley? Have W Magazine helped change your tune, too? Drop me a comment or hit me up @Ebzo – I can talk about this girl all day, trust me…

 

 


Ebony. 25. Manchester.
Marketing Manager who likes to mouth off on here about stuff she cares about. Expect mental health, Borderline Personality Disorder, and reviews - from restaurants, to books, to fashion. Talks to cats more than people, but seemingly has a lot to say.
ebonylaurenn@gmail.com