christmas posts

Christmas Lust-List

December 4, 2017

Also known as the things I – as a 24-year-old woman – have shamelessly begged various members of my family for, until they have now stopped replying to my texts.

christmas-lust-list

Gabrielle by Chanel

They say you should change your scent with each new man you date, which is something I forgot to do with my fella and we nearly murdered the other recently – so I thought I’d give the poor lad a break and invest for superstition’s sake.

After riding the Estée Lauder Modern Muse train all the way from 2015, the natural progression from ‘pretending-I’ve-got-my-shit-together’ to ‘oh-fuck-I-might-actually-have-my-shit-together’ scent came in the guise of Chanel’s latest offering: Gabrielle. Inspired by the leading lady herself, this youthful take on the timeless Chanel family will hopefully let me convey some semblance of togetherness – on the premise that you can only smell me; not see me smearing lipstick all over my chin on the tram.

chanel-gabrielle-perfume-christmas

EVE Memory Foam Pillow

Given that a good’s night sleep is about as fabled as Father Christmas himself these days, I’ve somehow convinced myself that spending over £50 on one pillow is wholly justifiable. Whether it’s the cat pissing in the corner of the room (I wish I was joking), or waking up early to hairdry my knickers clean (should really put a new washing machine on this list); getting more than 6 hours zzz is a nightly struggle.

At this price, I’m still hoping it’s going to give me a lap dance too.  

eve-memory-foam-pillow

Zoeva Makeup Brush Set

I had one of those day-crushing moments last week, where the world instantly slams to a halt and you have to swallow a scream on the packed bus: I only went and dropped my trusty makeup sponge on public transport. Given I merely have to think about being 15 to sprout a new chin spot, there was no way the ‘5 second rule’ was coming into play here.

What was a girl to do? Stop being a greb who uses artful finger blending teamed with a circa 2012 Mac blusher brush, of course – enter the Zoeva *insert whatever the hell it’s called*.

zoeva-classic-brush-set-christmas-selfridges

Kiehl’s Haul

On the note of dodgy skin, the haunting calls of true womanhood (hi finelines, hello dull complexion) led to me scouring the Kiehl’s website (with a handy 20% off Black Friday code clutched firmly in my Ctrl+C, that is). I’m not going to tell you what I ordered just yet – a) in case it’s shite and I’m a lost cause b) I’ll review it in the New Year. Although I did order that Midnight Recovery stuff and – swear down – if Karlie Kloss herself doesn’t emerge out of my pores, shit is going to hit the fan.

kiehls-midnight-recovery-christmas-present

Oral B 3D White Whitening Strips

Shout out 2 my ex for introducing me to these badboys (lol jk, you’re an absolute weapon). Given my sister and I haven’t a well-functioning maternal bone between us, we have opted to thoughtfully split a pack of these dodgy af imported whitening strips for our respective Christmas presents this year. Any excuse to FaceTime her at 3am with just me teeth out.

3d-oral-b-whitening-strips-christmas

What’re you hoping to find under the Christmas tree? Peace, love and an unlimited Wagamamas card aside, that is… Drop me a comment, you never know: might buy it for ya.

Okay, that’s a lie – but worth a try, no?

 

Pipe-dreamin’: Giles by Giles Deacon.

December 29, 2013

The second the Christmas period arrives, I somehow get it into my head that I’ll somehow be able to afford EVERYTHING that ever was made by anyone ever – solely due to the sales. However, this is seldom (never, ever) the case and so, again – I bestow upon you another lust-filled wishlist, this time in the guise of the swish GILES line. They are sale items though, if you’re feeling a little more flush than myself…

  • White Polka Dot Silk Blouse – Was £530: now £265

Anybody who knows me in real life, or is a veteran reader of my blog, will know that I have an undying love for blouses – especially ones that are thick enough to cover your bra. The main thing I love about this shirt is that it’s quietly a naughty little minx: whilst the polka dot print may look all doe-eyed and innocent, the polka dots are in fact designed to represent the ventilators on fetish masks – ooh rather. Go on Giles, you dirty bugger. In the words of Icona Pop: I love it.

  • Pink Ikat Lace Dress – Was £1,255: now £627

Speaking of thick and hulking (ho, ho, ho) – the material of this dress perfectly reflects its hefty price-tag, which is something that I seldom find adds up with some designers. I’d have to team this with a ridiculously tight waist-cincher, to avoid looking a bit too oldyworldy/old lady, but it’s absolutely darling with that sleeve detailing.

  • Pale Pink Studded Blouse – Was £620: now £310

Giles is at it again with this deceptively cheeky number – look closely for those grungy gold spikes around the neck, eerily reminiscent of a BDSM dog collar. The garish mixed with the glamorous is so craftily done here – shame I’d have to start making BDSM videos of my own, if I wanted to buy one…

To check out the rest of the line, visit Avenue32 here. 

Self-Indulgent and Inescapable: The Christmas Haul.

December 29, 2013

I call it a haul, but I suppose it’s more of a communal gift dump, bestowed upon me by my loving family and friends. This year, I focused rather stringently on asking for vain and aesthetic presents: dresses/dresses/dresses/MAC-anything – and it worked out quite well. I received some gorgeous bits and bobs, here are a few pieces (I won’t be that wazzock that lists them all, lest you think I’m bragging – and put it this way, I’m still yet to get a Mulberry. Hand me the violin):

  • Forever 21 – Daring Cutout Bodycon Dress – £16.75

Arguably the sluttiest piece I have in my entire wardrobe – perhaps even surpassing my Ann Summers drawer – this dress is a corker, and I’m highly surprised my dad agreed to buy it for me (cheers dad). Definitely one only ever to be sported with black tights and nothing less, I have gone to wear this for a meal/casino night out recently and changed last minute, due to my nipples repping nothing short of the ‘telescopic Bowie antennae’ look. Maybe I’ll wear this one when the chill wears off a little…

  • Forever 21 – Enchanted Velveteen Maxi Skirt – £12.75

Check out those thigh splits – Angelina Jolie, eat yer heart out, love. I’ve been on a bit of a goth stint recently (by recently, rather circa 1993), and velvet is right up my back alley, especially when it’s floaty and mental and quite fun to team with killer boots. I’ve been wearing this with a Forever 21 black lace sweater, but I’m looking forward to returning to my flat and sporting it with one of my cropped t-shirts. Wearing around Leigh town centre has garnered a fair share of scathing chav glares.

  • Empty Casket – Amethyst Pentagram Cord Necklace – £16.00 

I’m guessing you’ve caught on to the goth influences by now, no? This is such a nifty piece: the frame opens out like a pendant, allowing you to wear it without the amethyst if it clashes with an outfit, or switch with other stones if you wish to collect them. The only thing I’d like to change about it is that it’s a bit too long: I wanted a choker style, given I’ve managed to break my last two. I’m wearing it on the Forever 21 dress picture above anyway, if you’re interested. This gem is currently sold out, but there are other styles – and other drool-worthy pieces – available on the site.

  • Lush Cosmetics – My Fair Lady Gift Set – £31.95 

My connection with this gift set thus far, is verging on the mildly psychotic. I found myself cuddling the ‘Miranda’ soap for quite the inordinate space of time earlier, hugging it to my nose like you’d do with a newly-bought puppy (if you liked dogs, that is). Basically, it all smells damn grand. Out of all the products included, I’ve only ever tried the Charity Pot before, which is luscious – determined to keep exfoliating/moisturising every single day now (we can only live in hope). The Tiny Hands solid hand cream bar might be a favourite so far, I’m going to have none left if I don’t stop smooshing it – the consistency is so invitingly butter-melty and luxurious. Elizabeth Arden, your hand cream reign is over: it smells exponentially better than you.

I could yanner on all day and bore you all to tears – there were other bits and pieces like: an ASOS PVC dress that I’ve been lusting over for months, some more Gucci Guilty perfume, the MAC Prep + Prime powder I mentioned in this month’s wishlist, the 3 year tradition of a new Simon’s Cat calendar, a new set of crossword books… urrr, yeah, and many fat-inducing chocolaty things and some new trusty owl slippers. Anyone else get anything similar?

As always, products linked through images. 

December Wishlist.

December 14, 2013

Okay, this is going to be a wishlist post but, despite it being the glorious month of Christmas, I’m not going to make this a Christmas wishlist (though family members: I wouldn’t say no to these *cough cough*). Fortunately of late, I’ve been offered a number of freelance projects which, after my recent run-in with a ‘Manchester’-based Elance client who turned out to be from Nigeria (and, oddly enough, a bonafide con artist), has been blissful to both my mental well-being and my bank account. Here’s what has me a-dribblin’ this month (most of it is still painfully out of my budget, don’t fret):

  • Alexa for Eyeko – Eyeliner and Mascara Set – £35: Which came first, the love for liquid eyeliner, or the love for Alexa Chung? I will never know, but do I know that most of us fashion-types will jump at anything that Alexa Chung has even raised a perfectly-gelled brow at. After spending about three quarters of the year fighting with an endlessly running out Rimmel liquid liner, I think it’s finally time to treat myself to this beauty. And if I walk out the house looking even 1/1,000th like Miss Chung, that surely can’t hurt. It claims to nourish and thicken lashes with prolonged usage, which is an interesting concept. Truly, I couldn’t give a crap – as long as it’s blacker than my namesake and stays in one place, I’m sound.

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4 ‘Easy’ Ways To Channel Miley Cyrus.

December 11, 2013

Crowned here, there and everywhere as the ‘(T)IT’ girl of 2013, Miley Cyrus has been adorning our screens with her effortlessly tasteful garbs all year long now. Boys want to bang her, so naturally girls want to therefore emulate her, or jealously throw her to the hills – personally, I’d like to give her a good wake up call and tell her to stop giving us fellow early 20-somethings a bad name. I mean, despite being a whole 6 months younger than good ol’Miles, I’ve managed to get through most of my twentieth year without a) taking my top off for a ‘photographer’ who’s blatantly a pervert and allegedly a rapist b) wearing clothes that cover only around 5% of my body’s surface area c) flowering my Twitter/Instagram account with queerly hip-hop rapper-esque shit like “wit” “ting” and anything else that will probably end up in the dictionary alongside “selfie”, the way we’re headed.

So today, I thought, in the nature of my fashion-related blog, I’d create a little run-down of how to channel the little starlet:

  • Expose as much of your pubic region/hip region as is humanly possible without betraying the whereabouts of your g-spot.

For best results, ensure that you have underwear tan lines – not because you don’t tan properly – oh no, simply because we want people to see quite how tiny and risqué your underwear is – y’know, when you’re actually wearing it. You’re so sexually liberated! My favourite thing about this look is the covetable, world’s-most-confused-feminist Miley appearance it creates, eerily akin to every little girl’s first love: the Ken doll. Not content with being barely dressed with our blatantly feminine arses out, it’s now seemingly cool to show off that bizarre bit where thigh meets pelvis. Sexy. OH yeah, and again – ensure that any photographs taken of you in said loin cloth are taken by an infamously well-known pervert (hiya Terry Richardson, yeah I do mean you).

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Passion For Fashion – Moneysupermarket.com Competition Entry Part 2.

September 24, 2012

If you caught my first Moneysupermarket.com post earlier this week, you’ll know that I’ve entered an amazing competition that you can check out here. I’m still without a laptop (how on Earth did I manage to leave it in Leeds!?) so my posts are a little spaced out, given I’m having to use the university computers as and when I can. Anyway, here is my second look for the competition – Outdoor:

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REVIEW: LUSH Gorilla Perfume in Vanillary.

September 12, 2012

Yesterday I received a sample of Vanillary through the post from LUSH – which was a lovely surprise! I popped it into my satchel in my hurry for the train, as I was off to Manchester to see Grazia’s Fashion Editor Sophie Ferguson at the New Look Denim Styling Event – and quickly dabbed a little on my wrists in the midst of my extensive make-up routine (done on the train – Miss Lastminute.com). It smells absolutely divine! The scent is rich and familiar yet filled with sexy musky tones – I may just have to order some the second this one runs out! I’m also really happy as it’s another LUSH pot to my collection that I can recycle for one of their divine face masks when finished.

You can apply the perfume stick to either your neck or wrists, and I found it easier to apply a generous amount to my wrists and then rub onto my neck. I couldn’t decide whether it was due to it being a new scent to me, or whether it had amazing staying power, as I could still smell it as though fresh, a good time after one application. The packaging is ongoing with the LUSH brand theme, black with their signature title font in white in a small cylinder shape – so perhaps not as glam as you’d like your perfume to be, but it is amazingly handy for just throwing in your bag and using for a little pick-me-up throughout the day.

The scent is available in three forms: perfume stick £6.50 (which I received), spritzer £12.50 and atomiser for £26.

Here’s the LUSH description of the product:

“The sweet and sensual real vanilla and jasmine absolutes are supported by the burnt caramel-like scent of tonka bean in this delicious perfume. Vanillary is a grown-up gourmand. Its character really warms and develops on the skin and you’ll get many compliments wearing it.

A group of Lushies visited Heston Blumenthal’s Fat Duck restaurant and were inspired by a pudding they ate there to create the Vanilla Fountain bath ballistic. Amanda, our Retail Guru, along with many other Lushies nagged Simon until he caved in and made the delicious scent into a perfume.”

I would definitely recommend this product – to pretty much anyone who is on the go constantly. Even if the scent isn’t for you, the LUSH perfume range is ever-expanding, with new scents like 25:43 getting snapped up frantically already. Find your own scent!

Life Lesson Learned: If you want to go to the fucking gig, get tickets for the fucking gig.

January 11, 2012

I love a good gig. There is very little, sex aside, that can top that nervy feeling of euphoria when you’re waiting for your favourite band to come onstage at your favourite gig venue. Same goes for howling along to your favourite lyrics or hanging on the every word of the lead singer… Gigs are just awesome. As a rule, I’ve had a terrible habit in the past of finding tickets of gigs that I really want to go to, then spending way too long deliberating about buying the tickets – only to lose them and be faced with buying them off eBay for stupid prices, or wait for their next tour. This unfortunate situation occurred last year when I was looking to buy tickets to see one of my favourite artists – Laura Marling.

Marling's "When The Bell Tolls" tour poster.

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Ebony. 25. Manchester.
Marketing Manager who likes to mouth off on here about stuff she cares about. Expect mental health, Borderline Personality Disorder, and reviews - from restaurants, to books, to fashion. Talks to cats more than people, but seemingly has a lot to say.
ebonylaurenn@gmail.com