dissertation posts

10 Signs You Know You’re Procrastinating in the Library

March 7, 2014

Just to kick start this post, there’s is a definite chance that I may actually be in the midst of procrastinating in said library as we speak. There’s a chance that the entire fundamental basis of this post is summed up in the crime that I’m currently committing. Sue me. We’re all feeling it – studentitis, that terrifying onslaught of bizarre compulsions which seem only to be triggered when we wander wayward into our university’s hallowed library walls. Currently, I’m flailing in the throes of the dreaded godfather of studentitis: thirdyearitis. Muffle your screams. So, on the vibe of  ‘there’s no time like the present’ (to waste some more valuable library-dwelling minutes) – I think it’d be a brilliant opportunity to simply give in to my nagging longing to write and compile this utterly pointless, but hopefully entertaining amalgamation of library-procrastination-thought-processes: (somebody come find me and stop this madness)

  1. Listlessly attempt to avert gaze from people watching. Whilst in the feral terrains of campus, eye contact with these strange creatures is strictly forbidden – but in the craptastic atmosphere of the library, anything’s a first-class drama: an unfortunately amusing sneeze would hit the spot right now. Hell, would rather have a conversation than write this essay. A conversation with Paris Hilton, even.
  2. Torture self over whether that abandoned Evian bottle is full of piss, or just orange juice. Please, please god be orange juice.
  3. Fight sudden urge to take up sock darning/gardening/thimble-collecting. Be beaten by stronger urge to mindlessly Google ‘World’s Biggest Thimble Collection’ (it’s 8,003 – you don’t have to thank me).
  4. Briefly wonder what would happen if you stripped off and ran screaming through the aisles, throwing books off the balcony. On plus side, if you got thrown out – you’d no longer have to write a dissertation, right?
  5. Organise life into a myriad of lists. To-do, to-don’t, wishlists, favourite breeds of cat… Debate list-making for toilet visits and even consider venturing into writing a list for when you ought to write more lists.
  6. Ironically indulge in animalistic bout of longing for indulgence. Fantasise about wild masturbation, followed by a GIRLS marathon, teamed with a bottomless bag of Doritos. Fantasise about bathing in pink champagne and drinking way out. Fantasise about life post-degree. Inspire Step 7:
  7. Battle inherent fear of leaving university and having to live at home again. Fret incessantly over the possibility of no longer living off favourite cereal and rosé, the prospect of having a screechy parent as an alarm clock once more, and the cessation of life as an occasional nudist.
  8. Consider the physiological aspects of twerking. Do extensive research, watch countless YouTube videos, until you almost forget surroundings and go for it Miley-style at the desk.
  9. Watch every single music video by Rihanna that ever was. Rinse and repeat for every single Vevo-residing popstar on the planet. Realise it’s nearly midnight and the word count’s at 3. And that was just from when you accidentally leant on the keyboard.
  10. Wonder what sick bastard decided to put so few Milky Stars in the packet. Consider wasting time with an angry letter to Mars Consumer Care. Fuck it off and go buy another bag of Milky Stars. Accidentally fuck the library off and go home…

OOTD: Dissertation Dash.

January 13, 2014

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Today marked the first Doomsday of my calendar: the dreaded return to university, rounded up to terror stages by the addition of a 5,000 word essay deadline and a dissertation meeting with my tutor who ever so slightly scares the living shit out of me (she’s coo’, though). I had to dash from Wigan back home to Lancaster, which included having to write up the referencing for my essay on a bus – surprised I still have a MacBook left (if you know Wigan, you’ll understand) and stupidly telling a chav to ‘eff off’ after he jumped in my path to scare me enroute to the bus stop. Surprised I still have a MacBook and a pulse. Anyway, drama was averted eventually and the day, whilst tiring, has been made exponentially better by this absolute bargain outfit.

Everything I’m wearing (necklace aside) comes from the Primark sales – the entire outfit came to TWELVE POUNDS. Yes. Twelve measly pounds. The jacket is proving an excellent purchase but there are many bloopers of me realising that you can fully see my bra through this dress with the flash on. Not sure whether that’s just the quality or something to do with the fact I’m wearing a bright white bra under a dark green dress – urrr.

I’ve got absolutely tonnes to be blogging about this week, so keep your eyes peeled.

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Make Up

Face: Illamasqua Skin Base Foundation in SB 02 | MAC Prep + Prime Transparent Finishing Powder | Revlon PhotoReady Concealer in Light | Benefit Hervana Blush

Eyes: L’oreal Brow Pencil in Dark Brunette | Ted Baker Liquid Liner Pen | MAC Kohl Liner in Smolder | Benefit They’re Real Mascara | Smashbox Smokebox

Lips: Estée Lauder Pure Colour Lipstick in Black Cassis

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Outfit

Primark Pleather Sleeve Bodycon Dress – £5 was £10 | Primark Floral Jacket – £7 was £17

Empty Casket Amethyst Pentagram Cord Necklace – £15
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Apologies for the utterly pants image quality on these: I didn’t have any time to take pictures before the sun went down, so these will have to do! Definitely need to get someone to start taking my pictures for me – I am fundamentally useless.


Ebony. 25. Manchester.
Marketing Manager who likes to mouth off on here about stuff she cares about. Expect mental health, Borderline Personality Disorder, and reviews - from restaurants, to books, to fashion. Talks to cats more than people, but seemingly has a lot to say.
ebonylaurenn@gmail.com